DRAMATIC SEASON FINALE with Alex Collyard

Rebecca has been kissing ALEX (Collyard, cute funny nice) but now Rebecca is moving to New York which is sad because it’s been fun and she has famously had a HARD TIME. In this Classroom Crush season finale, Rebecca is closing out her time in Chicago and talking to Alex about closing out their time as Chicago’s preeminent comedy power couple. Just kidding they’re not an actual COUPLE couple like it’s casual relax it’s fun we’re hanging out. Damn. Alex (Just Kitten Around, Arts & Culture Club, The Dungeon Rats, so much) is telling Rebecca about some formative early crush experiences before they delve into how this whole thing began and all of their feelings about it. Rebecca leaves in exactly one week so it’s finally time to explore: Is Alex good or bad, Alex has a thing for dancers? wow, initiating moves, would this relationship work if Rebecca wasn’t moving, wanting to fix problems, polyamory, Rebecca makes bold claims about Alex’s future, Rebecca kinda cries and hates it, Alex is sad for her but very nice, deep insecurities, bye bye Chicago, some final (for now) thoughts on love and being defined by it and more!! This does not pass the Bechdel Test and you should listen to it. Classroom Crush is far from over and please stay tuned because we’ll probably be back sooner than you even want tbh. Love u xoxoxo

Follow Alex on twitter at: @alexcollyard

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel & @rebeccabulnez on instagram

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush

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Put Those Feelings Back In Your Pocket with Brian Bennett

This week it’s returning guest and general fave Brian Bennett on the show!! With such a rich life he is back to tell a pretty wild story set in Vietnam that, once again, finds him in a love triangle of sorts. He’s telling Rebecca the college story of ALEX, ALEX, and NI. If you don’t think he’s bringing the drama we’ll just let you know there’s potential fatherhood involved. Rebecca is telling Brian about her very formative and NOT basic crush on Ron Weasley/Rupert Grint. There’s a fifth grade journal entry, an apocalypse fantasy and honestly way more to get into than there should be. This ep covers: an airport breakup, cultural miscommunication, touching on suicide, perfect british accents, using people as emotional placeholders, la petit mort, physical weakness as a shortcut to being taken care of, could a child start a war?, feeling the need to be chosen, Brian loves taking his shirt off, Rebecca fantasizes about people being stuck with her, and SO MUCH MORE!! Also, next week is the season finale!!

Follow Brian on twitter at: @tweetingwithbr3

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel & @rebeccabulnez on instagram

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush

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Love & Basketball Moment with Shantira Jackson

This week Rebecca is fangirling because it’s Shantira Jackson (Comedy Central, BET, 3Peat) on the show!! She’s telling Rebecca all about one of her few middle school crushes, AARON, who was hot and athletic and possibly held back a grade and yeah, she wrote him a letter.  Rebecca is talking one of her first celeb crushes and of COURSE it’s none other than the titular Little Vampire. His name was actually Rudolph or something? Either way he was a vampire and British which was vital. She’s also reading some lowkey heartbreaking journal entries from third grade. They’re talkin being ashamed of your feelings, Shantira’s secret marriage plan, the green Power Ranger, when you’re young and emotionally uncensored, being “pretty for a dark skinned girl”, and of course, the entire plot of Love & Basketball and why it's IMPORTANT!!

Follow Shantira on twitter at: @tira_son

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel & on instagram at: rebeccabulnz

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush

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A Teen With No Skills with Lukey Walden

Wow, did you miss us? One full week without a new episode was probably really hard for you. We’re sorry. We missed you too. To regain your love and trust, we’ve got a gift in the form of this week’s guest, Lukey Walden!! Lukey is a gift because they are good and funny and sweet and we love. They’re telling Rebecca about “CHLOE” and a high school girlfriend setup formed out of pure loneliness and matchmaking friends!! It all becomes tragic because teens lack skills and are also very dramatic and way too trusting. Rebecca is basically out of crush stories so she shares some very bad 8th grade Formspring (sarahah before sarahah) discoveries and a fourth grade email chain letter survey that really encapsulates who she was and who she still is. PLUS: Remember that show Chuck and did you know the guy is Bad now?, anonymous bullying, Rebecca’s teen fan, bisexuality, Grease is actually woke, teens should treat each other like they might come out or transition in the next 10 years, feeling close to danger and NOT being able to handle it and more!!

Follow Lukey on twitter at: @coolturtleneck

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel & @rebeccabulnez on instagram

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush

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You Hate Me I Love You!! with Dan White

Could it possibly be? The first ENGAGED guest, like, marriage-wise?? This week Rebecca is honored to have the hilarious Dan White on the podcast!! Did he end up with the confident cool girl he knew in high school?? Uhhhhh spoiler alert, but yeah!! Incredible, the dream. Dan is telling Rebecca all about his first brushes with romance, his total obliviousness (backed up by some staggeringly formal facebook messages) and how he eventually ended up engaged to Rebecca’s newfound personal hero, KELLY. Rebecca is telling the story of SPENCER, a music boy she met at 18 when she first moved to Chicago who swept her off her feet by his unwavering disinterest. She was so obsessed she wrote a poem the night she met him and yes she DOES read it on this episode, along with some other pieces she wrote about him that year she went to college. It’s sad! This ep has truly got it all: parent stuff, negging, projecting, subtle name flirts, wanting to be special enough for the mean boy, running dates, being yourself, Kelly’s childhood “bodyguard” game, misplaced feelings still being valid, Rebecca feels weirdly optimistic? PLUS A CALL FROM KELLY HERSELF!!

Follow Dan on twitter at: @atdanwhite

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel & @rebeccabulnz on instagram

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush

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Proud Pee Bitch with Rima Parikh

This week, Rebecca is joined by lovely comedian and title of ep icon Rima Parikh! She’s telling Rebecca about a high school crush that has, IN MANY WAYS, followed her to this day. She doesn’t still have a crush on him (unfortch) but boy oh boy is it juicy. Rebecca is talking about the archetypal crush TYLER, who is perhaps her first notable one from like, second grade?? IN MANY WAYS he is perhaps the blueprint to her romantic soul!! In this ep R & R (Rima & Rebecca omg we love) are talkin high school Michael Cera fantasies, making your life an indie movie, unlearning internalized racism, was everyone horny for Jesse Eisenberg??, a TALENT show, Rebecca has always been extra, Rima was scared, literally making yourself white, infuriating missed opportunities, teachers at concerts, Rebecca’s self sabotaging origin story, and so much more!!

Follow Rima on twitter at: @rimaparikh12

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush

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“The Way You Move” with Elsie How

Alt title of ep: “He Didn’t Express Himself and Wasn’t Creative” which makes us laugh a lot (you’ll hear why) but unfortunately is too long. This week Rebecca is feeling bonded for life with hilarious comedian and new friend Elsie How!! Elsie is telling the tangled high school tales of NIKKO, THOMAS, and COLLIN and boy oh boy did she come with the materials to back it all up. We’re talkin journal entries and impressively rhymed poems, baby!! Rebecca is talking about the questionable decisions that led her to a one night Boston Noise Boy crush named ESTEBAN. Yes it is horny and concerning but also brave. This ep’s got small town dynamics, feeling like you peaked in high school, jocks that are actually ummm artsy?, an update from the one and only Carlos, Short Privilege, not being able to date casually, Rebecca gets emotional about how hot guys can be, “You played me like the strings of your guitar”, when a facebook relationship status can change it all, The Last Prom, singing to your crush but this time it’s GOOD?! and so much more!!

Follow Elsie on twitter at: @activesandal

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush

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Funny and Cute with Chef Kevin Bartelt

Damn. We really hit the jackpot on this one!! This week Rebecca is joined by your favorite Earwolf producer, “Chef” Kevin Bartelt!! Kevin is a TRUE sweetie and perfect Classroom Crush guest as he tells Rebecca about his first crush, KAITLYN, and the drama of his middle school/high school relationships! Dude was Never Not Dating and that’s honestly so impressive. Rebecca is telling the high school story of another fucking MATTHEW who of course was in a band, and the last insecurity ridden love triangle between her and best friend MICA. They’re talking being labeled “funny” but not smart, craving high intensity relationships, Kevin’s more recent crush situations (see: Tinder ep of Hollywood Handbook Pro Version), when Rebecca probably ignored Mica’s feelings, pushing a friend towards your crush to hide your feelings, and so much more! Plus, Rebecca’s story is told in a three part table read of messages pulled directly from Facebook, so there’s really nowhere for her to hide. Plus: screaming a love song at your crush, Rebecca watched a girl give Kevin her number, and do normal people make out to podcasts? Sound off in the....uh.....itunes reviews??

Follow Kevin on twitter at: @KevinJBartelt & on instagram at: kevbartelt

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel & on instagram at: rebeccabulnz

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush

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