Nerds For School & Boys In Bands with Ian Ornstein

What a beautiful day for a podcast! This week Rebecca is joined by delightful/hilarious/ improviser/friend, Ian Ornstein!! Ian is telling the story of LINDSAY, a high school crush and fellow glasses wearer who, despite being very smart (see: glasses) made some moves that Rebecca thinks make no sense after going on the perfect date. Rebecca is, naturally, telling a horny story about a Boy In A Band who boosted her self esteem once. This episode, amongst other things, includes the reading of an old blog post about unrequited love that is centered around the metaphor of a cake and not liking coconut (it’ll makes sense), knowing you shouldn’t put your worth in the way other people see you but doing it anyways, a trip the UCB THEATER, being blind to the signs, does a crush ever stop being a crush?, Ian always falls for girls who love Amanda Palmer, when Rebecca would get glimpses of the other side of high school, and isn’t it wild that statistically someone has definitely been obsessed with you at some point?? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?! SHOW YOURSELVES

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush


Rebecca Bulnes
The Great Wall of Mike with Mike Jest

Wow!! This week Rebecca attempts to self sabotage but actually does a really good episode of her podcast instead? She’s joined by funny and tall improviser/former crush, Mike Jest, who is telling her about his first crush, JULIE. Rebecca reads some clueless facebook interactions from her high school crush JULIAN! They’re getting extremely real and open about the nightmare of a pool party, body shame, catholic guilt, when they’d smooch, when Rebecca peacocked by making a facebook page for a band, Mike’s best case scenario fantasies, the concept of being lovable, Rebecca confronts Mike about how he’s impossible to read, why we build walls and what they look like to other people, hypothetical declarations of love, subconscious power plays, being SEEN and a hell of a lot more!! Rebecca would apologize for working out her personal issues here if it didn’t actually make for a good podcast bye bitch!

Follow Mike on twitter at: @MikeJest

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush


Rebecca Bulnes
THE MOM EPISODE with Carmen (MY MOM)

This week Rebecca has the best guest of them all. Yes, it's her hilarious and perfect creator, mother Carmen. It is a very special and fun piece of podcasting for Rebecca!! Carmen(weird to not just say “mom”) is telling her daughter about 6th grade crush FRANK and a bit about meeting Rebecca’s DAD in HIGH SCHOOL. Insane. There’s a lot of great shit, including: running through the streets like stray dogs, makeout parties, when Carmen was lowkey disgusting, an evil Yvette, a Sharks vs Jets (or “the Wakandan crew” vs “...the other crew or whatever”) style RUMBLE, holding boys accountable, a moment of empowerment, when mom and dad were MISFITS, begging Griffin Newman to introduce Rebecca to Ezra Miller, Carmen calling her daughter a moron, a shocking revelation, PLUS, a rare appearance by incredible 10 year old brother Noah?? If you don’t respect Rebecca’s family you’re banned from the pod. 

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel
Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush


Rebecca Bulnes
Doing Kissing and Stuff with Nicky Martin

This week Rebecca has comedian Nicky Martin on the show!! How fun and funny. Nicky is telling Rebecca all about the Alexis Bledel-types he pined for in his youth, and Rebecca is telling the high school story/adventure of MATHEW from New York. They’re talkin’ quitting marching band because it was too horny, when Rebecca *literally* fell head over heels in love, playing spin the portable phone, a crush vs a bf, when Nicky became a dirty boy, was Mathew’s friend actually into Rebecca?, a romantic Orchid Tapes rooftop show, websites that tricked kids into seeing porn, cartoon crushes, drowning in Elliott Smith and more!!

Follow Nicky on twitter at: @PissMistress

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush


Rebecca Bulnes
Have Love, WILL Travel with Jaclyn Barker

This week Rebecca is joined by her very dear friend, hilarious comedy gal Jaclyn Barker! They’re talking about some DRAMATIC, tbh narratively THRILLING long distance high school crushes. Rebecca is telling Jaclyn about the incredible story of NIC, the stranger on the bus. Very Hitchcock, right?? Jaclyn is talking about her IRISH BOY crush, who floated in and out of her life for approx 13 years. This ep has got it all: a Jess Mariano type, bonkers next level internet stalking, a first kiss by a waterfall, (Jaclyn still has the underwear she wore that day), the lawless days of early Facebook, when you feel it’s VITAL to know someone, Post-Potter Depression, thinking you’re Lady Gaga, hilarious time capsule messages, an unforgivable betrayal, a reunion on the other side of the world, and what the hell does JFK being allergic to horses have to do with any of this?? Find out!!

Follow Jaclyn on twitter at: @KangarooJaclyn

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush


Rebecca Bulnes
Three Blind Mice (It’s A Love Triangle) with Brian Bennett

Holy hell this is a hot one!! Not like sexy but just a very good episode of the podcast. This week Rebecca is joined by the seriously funny Brian Bennett to discuss the dreaded high school love triangle! Brian’s involves his First Love "ANNIE” (smart, churchgoing girl) and best friend “HUNTER” (who is also sorta First Love). Rebecca must once again confront her life’s obvious patterns as she discusses ANNA and her boyfriend DANNY (very hot and nice). Rebecca and Brian get very real as they talk: being a side dish when you should be an entree, is self love just having a crush on someone who is like you?, “The Gentleman’s Spot” (The G Spot), all boys catholic school, TWO crush sleepovers, can you ever ask a friend not to date your crush? Aaron Carter, when everything changed, and more !Sounds dramatic because it is ya dweeb! But in a good way.

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush


Rebecca Bulnes
I MUST Be Lonely!! with Emily Walters

This week Rebecca is so grateful to have friend/improv queen/totally hilarious wonderful person Emily Walters on the show! She truly couldn’t ask for a better person to share her sad childhood story with!! Emily tells the tale of “TOMMY”, a crush that spanned 10 Years (like the movie!!) and maybe more? Rebecca describes all the life changes that made SAM, her 2nd grade crush, so devastating!! We’re (finally) talking about when Rebecca had two moms, PLUS: throwing obvious crush hints, JUNIOR PROM, the origin of abandonment issues, mean preteens, when Rebecca became Edgy, graduation party disappointments, weird rich kid couple photoshoots, Snow Patrol is very good, Logan Echolls is very hot, is the lead singer of Goo Goo Dolls hot? and some VITAL post-high school crush revelations.

Follow Emily on twitter at: @Lilwowwow1

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush


Rebecca Bulnes
What's Her Deal? with Fran Hoepfner

Could it be? Fran Hoepfner is BACK on this SHOW?? Yeah nerds, we’ve got our first returning guest and we couldn’t have asked for a better one!! No offense other past guests. This time, Fran is telling Rebecca about her first female crush, “SARAH” from college (still a classroom, bitch!) Rebecca is talking “JOEY”, an older crush that she actually went on dates with, very rare. This episode’s got it all: feeling required to prove your bisexuality, smoking weed and watching The Hobbit in 3D, college improv viral videos, coming out, Rebecca’s childhood revealed, LMFAO is an uncle and a nephew, boys vs WOMen, labels, feeling guilty, Garrett Hedlund, and so so much more.

Follow Fran on twitter at: @franhoepfner

Follow Rebecca on twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel

Follow Classroom Crush on twitter at: @ClassroomCrush


Rebecca Bulnes